Sleeper Pick

YOOOOOOO Sports!!!!!!!

Is Censorship Really Such a Bad Thing?

I don’t know about you but I was a huge proponent of censorship in the wake of 9/11. Particularly the French. If I had to choose between censoring the French or basic civil liberties all I have to say is: don’t bother RSVP-ing (that commie abbreviation apparently stands for Répondez, s’il vous plaît) and pass the freedom fries.

We practice censorship here at Sleeper Pick and what our listeners don’t know won’t hurt them. Some words you will never hear on this podcast:

Playoffs

Kobe Bryant (see also: any star player)

Well run team

Super Bowl preview

Any player or team the vast majority of the U.S. public wants to hear about in a sports podcast

→→→→

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January 30, 2009 Posted by | Podcasts | , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

This week on the Sacramento Kings/Don Nelson show…

I’m beginning to think Marc and I are starving for NBA material.

Sure, we could talk about the 4 powerhouses in the NBA thus far (Orlando, Cleveland, LA and your world champion Boston Celtics). Why not talk about the team everyone seems to forget despite 4 titles in the last decade (San Antonio)? We could mention an epic season from LeBron, a hilariously overpaid season from Elton Brand or an underrated monster year from Kevin Durant. We could do these things, but that ain’t Yo! Sports.

Instead, a very special episode of Yo! Sports! spends 20 minutes talking about a triple overtime game between the Sacramento Kings (my favorite crappy team) and the Golden St. Warriors (Marc’s favorite team, which happens to be crappy).

Who says we’re not self serving here at Sleeper Pick?

THE SACRAMENTO, BAY AREA, NEW ENGLAND POD SHOW! (and other stuff too)

P.S. You can download every podcast on iTunes for free (who would pay for this shit? Maybe Don Nelson, but we all know he’s one Australian short of a penal colony). Just search “sleeperpick”.

January 23, 2009 Posted by | Podcasts | 2 Comments

It is 2am

But I know that I could still make a better catch than Limas Sweed if someone told me right now to run a go route down Monterey Blvd. and onto the 280 freeway here in San Francisco.  Did I just say I could do a better job catching a pass from Big Ben than a man who is 6’5 and runs a 4.55 forty? Well, at least if I dropped the ball I wouldn’t waste an injury timeout wallowing in my own pity-party. Failing even that, I know I could draft Desean Jackson in the first round of the 2008 NFL Draft. I COULD. PICK ME FOR GM CLUELESS OWNER OF THE NINERS. PICK ME!!!!!! [waves arms frantically]. YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO HEAR THE WORDS “Kentwan Balmer” UTTERED AGAIN.

Wait, why on earth did I waste my opening on the inept offenses in the coma-inducing AFC Championship Game? Everybody wants to hear about the explosiveness of Larry Fitzgerald and Desean Jackson, or perhaps the cunning of our favorite supermarket shelf-stocker, Kurt Warner. People probably don’t want to hear about Emil’s designs on the Cromartie gene pool, but you gotta take the good with the bad. Kinda like putting the hopes of your season on a rookie QB with a unibrow much fiercer than his catatonic, I mean, placid demeanor. I think the unibrow created the 8 foot blind spot that Troy Polamalu was hiding in.

It’s now 2:30am and I’m turning malicious and about as funny as Carrot Top or Howie Long.

Without further adieu, everything you wanted to know about the AFC & NFC Championship games but were afraid to ask. Continue reading

January 20, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Would Tim Tebow Gator Chomp Jesus?

If Jesus said Tebow was the 8th best QB in the Big 12? That he was a 3rd or 4th round draft pick at best? Or if he then followed up with “If there are things you do not agree with, God [. . . . or Mel Kiper] will make them clear to you” – Philippians 3:15

It’s these deep questions that we delve into in our BCS Championship Game podcast. (Podcast link)

We also discuss the NFL draft prospects for Sam Bradford, Chris Brown, Percy Harvin, Tim Tebow, and Mark Sanchez.

[Aside: When are NFL systems going to adopt some elements of the spread? How do we rank draft-eligible college players who operate out of completely unconventional systems? Because nobody wants to see their team draft the next Alex Smith or Akili Smith or Rashaun Woods (urggghhh, too many Niners draft busts, mind is shattering . . .) . When will teams stop taking chances with top-ten picks (particularly given the obscene amount of money top picks make) who have to completely overhaul their techniques and style of play in order to conform to NFL systems?]

And most importantly:

WHY DO SO MANY OF THE FLORIDA CHEERLEADERS LOOK LIKE TIM TEBOW??

You wouldn't want this guy as your goal-line QB?

You wouldn't want this guy as your goal-line QB?

Cousin?

Cousin?

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January 11, 2009 Posted by | Podcasts | , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

If you thought the Knicks were dysfunctional

because some of their players refuse to play, wait until you hear about the recent accusation that Nate Robinson has committed a hate crime  in front of 20,000+ people . . . . against Yao Ming. And apparently the People’s Republic of China is none too pleased about it.

To learn more about the matter we brought in an expert, Jerry Hu. Not only does our guest star provide insightful analysis of this accusation and the inner workings of state-run television but he also chimes in about fantasy sports trading etiquette. FYI, etiquette’s etymology: French, étiquette, literally ‘not acting like Don Nelson’.

I know, I couldn’t believe that Merriam-Webster is as into Don Nelson as we are. They must have dated back in the 1920s when Don Nelson was running the “No rebounding, no defense, NO PROBLEM” system (sometimes known as “Nellie Ball”) at Iowa U.

I don’t know how this is defined in online dictionaries but our expert knows it when he sees it:

Hate Crime (podcast link)

P.S. Don’t forget, you can also listen to the podcast on iTunes. Just search sleeperpick.

January 6, 2009 Posted by | Podcasts | , , , , , | 2 Comments

Am I the only Pats fan furious about Matt Cassel getting franchised?

By this guy’s count, there are at least 7 teams that would kill to start Tom Terrific’s back up, who is making 14 million next year ($13,970,000 more then this guy.) “How nice,” you think to yourself, “to know that if number 12 doesn’t start the season at least that guy’s team has a quarterback in the bullpen (take that mixed sports analogies!) who last threw for 3700 yards and 21 TD’s.” Why wouldn’t the lot of you think that this guy is all cheesed that the Patriots have found a potential life after Tom Brady?

COMMANDMENT ONE OF TEN : THERE IS NO LIFE AFTER TOM BRADY.

(still debating on whether “COMMANDMENT ONE OF TEN: THOU SHALL NOT LIVE A LIFE AFTER TOM BRADY” was funnier)

I’m gonna give it to you raw right now (that’s what she said): The Patriots dropping 14 million on Matt Cassel is the biggest slap to Tom Brady’s face since Bridget Moynahan found out 12 wasn’t going to get back together with her (even though she pulled the goalie on the quarterback (2 for 2 on mixed sports analogies) to try and pry Mr. Cool from the  richest supermodel in the world (but, but I was in IROBOT!)))

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January 6, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , | 4 Comments

1 Thing I Love about You, Don Nelson

. . . . . . . . . .

We have an excellent show for you; action packed with a Starting Five starring:

Andray Blatche, C,  Washington Wizards

Marco Belinelli, SG, Golden State Warriors (The Itallion Stallion!)

Aaron Brooks, PG, Houston Rockets

Louis Williams, PG, Philadelphia 76ers

Amir Johnson, PF, Detroit Pistons

(Because Emil thinks that I only include people under 6′ feet in the Starting Five, we also discuss up-and-coming big men Mareese Speights & Roy Hibbert. Whether Emil ends up hating 10 things about these guys we won’t know until they post their thoughts on global warming).

We then swim in the roiling waters of the BCS bowl system vs. playoff system debate. We come up with a few inspired suggestions for the NCAA that have about a 98.6% chance of being adopted and have been picked by the Y! experts.

So listen to this before Don Nelson pulls you into his car:

It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing


P.S. Stick around, we have another podcast coming up shortly. Now that I’ve recovered from my 10th egg-nog induced hangover we’re back on track.

January 4, 2009 Posted by | Podcasts | 1 Comment

The 10 things I hate about you, Spencer Hawes

1. You look exactly like Michael Phelps. Really the resemblance is uncanny.

You sure you didnt win 8 medals in China?

You sure you didn't win 8 medals in China?

2. Your inability to hit threes anymore. You were at one a game through November, then for whatever reason you decided to stop shooting them all together. I don’t know if this is Coach Natt’s (the worst coaching name in the NBA hands down) dirty work, but seriously Spence start chucking the long ball a la Antoine Walker please.

3. Your political agenda. A look at his Wikipedia Page will find that “Hawes is a conservative Republican and critic of Al Gore’s documentary An Inconvenient Truth.” Really Spence? I guess the f$%%ing Artic Shelf melting into a giant puddle doesn’t prove crap to this GOP supporter.No seriously he doens’t belive in global warming. Per SI.COM

“In [the class], he said, he denied the entire existence — and human cause — of global warming. When asked for his take on Al Gore’s An Inconvenient Truth, Hawes said, “It’s one big lie. I talked about that in my opening speech — it’s the media’s liberal over exaggeration of just about everything.”

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January 3, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , | 2 Comments